Today is Monday, October 04, 2010. I am one week away from delivering my second child, a son. For the last 38 weeks, I have carried this baby boy and have fallen in love with him many times over. Every time I feel a kick or a little wiggle, I feel like he is in there telling me hi, and that he’s fine and can’t wait to meet me, his daddy and big sister and see all of our faces. As I sit here writing this, he is wiggling around and pushing out and telling me it’s almost time to see each other face to face.
For the last five years, my family has been a small family of 3. I have an amazing man in my life that I have been lucky enough to call my husband for the last 2 years. Although we have had so many ups and downs, and hit some really rough patches, I love him more than I knew I could love someone. I have a gorgeous little five year old girl who has been my entire world. She is absolutely the most amazing person I have met in my entire life. She has shown me a love that I never knew existed. The love between a mother and daughter is the strongest and most amazing love, and I am so lucky to have her. Every now and then, I look at her and wonder where time went. I remember bringing her home from the hospital, and I remember her first smile. I remember wanting her to talk and walk so badly and now she’s in kindergarten and excelling at beginner reading. It makes me realize how much we need to cherish the time we get with our children, because they do grow up so fast. I feel like I blinked and she turned 5. I am scared to blink again and see a high school kid in front of me. She is five, so of course she has her moments but I wouldn’t trade her worst tantrum for anything in the world.
A few nights ago, I was putting Carmen to bed, and Eric came in to tell her goodnight. He leaned down to give her a hug and kiss and told her that he loved her. She giggled, and held on to him with all of her might. In that second, I felt as if my life was perfect and tears came to my eyes. I fell in love with the two most important people in my life all over again.
In one week, my family will be blessed with another little person to love and hold and watch grow. Carmen has told me over and over that she is so excited to be a big sister and wants to help all she can, but she has made it clear (in the silliest tone possible) that she wont be changing any diapers. This is fine by me, because I know she will help me in every other way. She has been so sweet the entire time I have been pregnant. She rubs my belly and talks to her brother. She loves to feel her brother move around, and thinks that the belly button is the best place to talk to him; and she asks me so many questions about what’s going to happen when he gets here. I try to give her a heads up on what’s to come, but I can only tell her the basics because babies come with so much mystery that you never really know what’s to come other than dirty diapers, midnight feedings, crying and lots of sleepless nights. I am just so excited to see her hold and interact with her baby brother.
More than anything else, I am excited to see how Eric reacts to having a newborn baby. He came into Carmen’s life when she was 5 months old, so he just missed the newborn phase. He only missed the first smile, so he got to experience all of the other milestones. I cannot wait to see my two boys together, and see Eric interact with his son. It will be an amazing experience when he holds his son for the first time, and I cannot wait to see it.
Being a mommy is the best thing that I’ve ever been lucky enough to accomplish. Many women can’t have children and I have been so blessed. Even though both of my pregnancies have been really rough, I forgot all about the pain and fear once Carmen was in my arms. I am hoping my delivery with this baby goes as smoothly as it did when I had Carmen 5 years ago. Even though I will be having a repeat c-section since I am really good at baking big breech babies, I trust my OB with my life and obviously the lives of my children.
I cannot wait to meet my son next week, and for my family to grow. I am sure we will flourish as a wonderful clan of happy people.
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